Living with my parents after marriage. My wife, my mother, and me in the middle.

This is how it is in villages. We have one house, my parents, my wife, me, our son and one on the way. There is no question of living separately and I would not want to. But for six years my wife and my mother have had a cold war over the kitchen, over how the boy is raised, over how much my wife rests during the pregnancy. Nobody shouts. It is all in the silences and the looks, and both of them expect me to be on their side. I do not know how to be a good son and a good husband at the same time in one house. Men who live in a joint family, how do you handle this? Do you take a side, or do you just keep your head down for thirty years?